Slowly adjusting.

Things have been slowly getting better around here. Benjamin has gone from hating me to thinking I'm OK if Dad is not around. He loves his Daddy!! His sleep patterns are still way off and we are up most of the night. We are trying to figure that out too. Today I took Ben for a walk outside- and he cried and cried of course- but in the end calmed down and let me swing him to sleep in the swing. (progress I say!!!) We are seeing more and more of his personality every day. Whew. This is hard.

We are home!!

Well, thank the Lord we made it home in one piece and slightly sane. There is just nothing one can do to make that 14 hour plane ride enjoyable. I have never been in first class so maybe there is a secret. Ben did great on the plane. Slept a lot. He decided quickly that Vanous was his favorite. He tolerated Vanous holding him as long as he was in the carrier facing out. On the plane he let us lay him in the Bassinet the plane provided for some time as well. So that was all good. But he did not like me at all. He would cry if I touched him. Refused to take a bottle from me even if positioned away from me. Wail if I picked him up. So poor Daddy had to be the babysitter ALL THE WAY HOME. ER was a trooper. She did much better than us all. We were greeted at the airport by friends and family. And thanks to my Mom had supper on the table for us and a refrigerator full of groceries. I was exhausted- physically and emotionally. I have read numerous blogs and books about this kind of trauma but to see it in person was truly heartbreakiing. And to be refused by him just about killed me. We were up all night with him on our first night home as well just to add to the exhaustion. He is raging as he grieves the loss of his world. (raging is scary) Thank goodness, my Mom and Sister came to take care of ER and the house while we rested best we could and let me try to get him to trust me. He is doing better. He let me carry him around in the carrier today for about 3 hours. He is tolerating my touch and will let me play with him somewhat. But Daddy is still the one. We have not taken many pictures so I'll have to post again with them later. He is adorable. Hoping to sleep a little tonight.

Jennifer

Gotcha Day

It has been a very long day. Poor Ben. He is totally upset. He has cried nonstop since the handover. He will not let us hold him. Just cries. Heartbreaking wails. Looks around the room for something familiar and then cries harder. Poor baby. We have done all we can to try to get him calm but I think he just needs to grieve. He finally cried himself to sleep. So sad. I may cry myself to sleep as well. ER has been a trooper. She has been absolutely no trouble on this trip and took the day in stride. We are trying to pack now since our bus leaves in the morning at 7:15. Pray for the people sitting next to us on the plane. Ugh. No pictures this time. Trust me- you really did not want to see the ones we took.

On a happier note- during the 30 minutes or less that he was calm- he gave us a couple of the most beautiful smiles that would melt your heart. We are really hoping to see more of those tomorrow. REALLY HOPING!

Bye

More Shopping!

Monday- Well, today was a holiday in Korea. Therefore, the places we planned on going to were closed for the day. (It is kind of like our Memorial Day). So we chose to go back to Insadong. I really liked it there anyways. We had a guy on the street paint us a fan. (gorgeous).. Made our way through the CROWDS!! (Understatement.) And just wore ourselves completely out. We made a few more purchases- and came back to the hotel for ER to nap. (us too). And then went back out for Pizza.

Tomorrow is a big day. At 11:00 am here- 9 pm Monday night for you all- we will be taking custody of Benjamin. For us it is all very exciting but for him it is going to be very traumatic. He has been under the care of the Foster Mother for 9 months. She is his caretaker/ nannie/ mother. He is going to be so scared and upset. Please pray that we will do the right things to make his transition as easy as possible. And remember ER in your prayers too. She is processing all of this faster than I ever dreamed. Already the questions are coming about her own adoption story and how this one compares. I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be a hard day on her as well.

Next Post--- our first pictures as a family of 4!!!!!!

Sunday

Lazy Sunday for us. We laid around the hotel room until after 10 am. (Emma's favorite part of the trip is the hotel room). Then we decided to take a stroll up and down the streets near the hotel. We have about had our fill of taxi's. We found another mall and lots of shops. Once again- very expensive stuff. In fact, we found a Chanel store and a Tiffany's. Way out of our league. But we DID find something great. It was a Playplace for kids full of Teddy bears. You paid for 2 hours of playtime. Yes- expensive to us but worth it to ER for being such a great girl this trip. So off she went to play and play and play. She tried very hard to make new friends but the language barrier makes it difficult. But it was great to see her surrounded by other kids, tons of kids, that looked like her. We hoped she felt like she belonged and was not the "different" one as she is most of the time everywhere we go. Van and I had coffee as she played. ($4 for a cup BTW)..... and we had a waffle for dessert today- waffles are the new thing here in Korea apparently. They cover them in ice cream and whipped cream. Very very good. ER is napping now and we may venture out again tonight.

Our trip to Insadong

Now today was much more successful than yesterday. Insadong was the kind of place we were looking for. Lots of small shops with more traditional types of things. But we ran into a small- no a big problem. Everything is VERY expensive. Maybe we were spoiled by our trip to China where we bought tons of small trinkets and nice presents for ER and family-- or maybe we are just really cheap people- but either way we were shocked. We quickly had to rethink our plan. With ER- we bought her 18 gifts- one for each adoption day until she turns 18. We planned on doing the same for Benjamin but we may have to rethink. We did buy everything I planned on buying today. We got him a new Hanbok (traditional Korean outfit) and of course ER got one too, a Stamp (his Korean name is carved into the bottom of a stone), Artwork/ scrolls, Traditional Calligraphy brushes with the ink powder and pan, metal Chopsticks, a Korean King and Queen figurines, and more. Whew. And none of the above came cheap. We tried to "bargain" with them like we did in China- but it did not work. Ugh. Insadong was great. There were traditional Korean music groups performing so we stopped and rested and enjoyed the shows. We found a Mcdonalds so ER ate a Happy Meal again. WE walked up most every street and alley. We ended up in a bookstore below the city where I tried to find a English/Korean book. By this time we were sooo tired and just had to leave. It has been a great but tiring day. ER is very tired of shopping. Tomorrow we may find her something fun to do.

The Fancy Toilet

We are both amazed at the fancy commode we now have. It is called a Bidet (sp.?).... Hmmmmm. How to describe?

Well, Koreans believe that cleanliness is VERY important and find the use of toilet paper nasty. Thankfully they do provide a minimal amount of TP here at the hotel. I better not go into detail, but it has provided us all with a lot of interesting conversation. Hehehe. Look it up.